Goes together like Roast Pheasant and a lukewarm Natty Ice.

One way to make yourself a classic convertible is to cut out the middle of a Chevy Lumina and graft in the body of a 1939 Mercury Convertible. Then paint it purple and add lots of 80s Mercury badging.

Not a good way, mind you. More of an”Eye-Searing Horror That Causes Involuntary Rectal Bleeding” sort of way.

Every angle of this thing is horrible. There’s isn’t a part that doesn’t look like a crime against basic automotive design.

But at least you’ll have the very best of 1990s front wheel drive GM technology to power you along.

So, if after looking at the photo below of a stock ‘39 Mercury convertible you decide you’d rather have this rolling horrorshow, you can buy it for only $47,999.00.

One in what is likely to be an ongoing series

Todays awesome tail fin is on this 1958 Mercury Park Lane found on ebay. Not only does the fin itself have a cove that runs all the way to the front of the rear door, but there is a freestanding chromed laser-pod looking thing suspended in it.

This just further cements that 1958 is my favorite year for gratuitous finmobiles. 1959 cars may have been bigger and gaudier, but most of them had some cohesiveness to them. The 1958 cars look like the just stuck every bit of chrome trim, bumpers, wings, fins, spears, etc. they could find onto to their prototypes and whatever didn’t fall off on the test drive was put into production.  

Also the ’58 mercury above has the least intuitive transmission ever created.