-  I've got to start saying weirder, or just more 
quotable things... there's 5 files in the QFFH(tm) 
and not one of them has my name attached.-Bunyip-
    (and yes, thus far this is his only quote)

- Did you ever stop to think, and forget 
to start again?-Pooh -
- "It's a hundred and six miles to Chicago, 
we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of 
cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing 
sunglasses." "Hit it."-Blues Brothers-
- o/~ It's time to light the candles! It's 
time to say the rites!  It's time to summon 
Satan on the Muppet Show tonight!... o/~
- "Press to test." <click> "Release to detonate."
- 4 out of 5 sysops prefer donuts. 
One likes women, but she's weird.
- 666ĝF -- oven temperature for roast beast.
- A book worth banning is a book worth reading.
- A good friend comes along once in a lifetime. 
(Hopefully with snacks.)
- A person who *won't* be blackmailed, 
*can't* be blackmailed. -L. Long
- A recent psychic fair was cancelled due to 
unforseen circumstances.
- Are you going to come quietly, or do I have 
to use earplugs?
- Be as friendly to the janitor as you are to 
the chairman of the board.-H. Jackson Brown, Jr.-
- Being bisexual means that EVERYBODY thinks 
you're a pervert.
- Being intelligent isn't a felony. But most 
societies evaluate it as at least a 
misdemeanor.-L. Long-
- Cunning Linguists, Inc. We lick the language barrier.
- Do not disturb. I had a hard time getting 
turbed in the first place.
- Does "MicroSoft" translate to "small and squishy"?
- Don't be sexist. Chicks hate it.
- Don't assume I'm straight. ...Don't assume I'm not.
- Dyslexic Christian sells soul to Santa -- news at 11.
- Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.
- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
- Green Peas Foundation,fighting for vegetable 
rights across America.
- He can be outwitted by a jar of marshmallow fluff.
- Hi! I'm heavily armed, easily bored & 
off the medication.
- How dare you assume I'm Christian!
- I don't understand how he gets so many girls, all 
he does is sit in the corner licking his eyebrows.
- I've got a mind like a steel trap: 
things wander in and get mangled.
- If I blow your Mind, will you promise not 
to think in my Mouth?
- If Jesus was into S&M would he use Miracle Whip?
- Irony: God gave the tortoise a drag factor of .03
- Let us peel back the foreskin of misconception, 
and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.
- May you live in interesting times. -Ancient curse
- May you recieve your fondest wish. -Ancient curse
- My dad was the town drunk. Usually that's not so bad, 
but New York City? -Henny Youngman-
- Nature abhors a trailer park.
- Near as we can tell, the green light means "proceed" 
and the red light means "stop and put your finger up 
your nose."
- Never take acid and go driving with binoculars.
- No trees were killed to make this message. However, 
several bushes were hospitalized to make the tagline.
- 'On This Site the Afternoon of June 5th, 1834 
Nothing of Any Importance Happened'
- Perform random silliness and senseless 
acts of confusion.
- Pizza is proof of higher intelligence. Congress isn't.
- Sometimes I think that the surest sign that 
intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is 
that none of it has tried to contact us.-Calvin-
- Thanks to AOL, I no longer need to buy disks.
- The current death rate? One per person of course.
- When I say "I like chocolate" I mean "like" 
as in "I like to breathe."
- When someone asks you a question you don't want to 
answer, smile and say, "Why do you want to know?"
		-H. Jackson Brown, Jr.-
- Where subtlety fails us we must simply make do with 
cream pies.-Ulthacalthing-
- You non-conformists are all alike.
- It is illegal in California to set a mousetrap 
without a current valid hunting license. The only game 
animal, mammal or bird, that is legal to shoot from an 
automobile is a whale.
- 3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.
- Don't buy furs.  It takes trees to make protest signs
- Never use a tool that's more intelligent than you are
- Never wear a hat that has more character than you do
- Nobody told you not to be a plumber
- Nobody can fix the economy, Nobody can be trusted 
with their finger on the button, VOTE FOR NOBODY!
- Someday I'm going to take all the red tape and tie 
up the Establishment for a change
- This isn't hell.  This is where you get sent when 
you've been bad in hell.
- The best defense is a strong offense, 
and I intend to start offending right now
- If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the 
street...the sidewalk...the lawn...
- Instant gratification just isn't quick enough
- BACK RUBS--Given with pleasure, received with ecstasy
- Born to be cuddled
- Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is 
indistinguishable from molasses
- Don't give me that kinkier-than-thou attitude
- Don't just flirt--hit me with a clue-by-four
- Flaming Heterosexual
- I'm not a tease, teases make promises they don't keep
I'm a flirt, I make no promises at all!
- Immoral Minority, charter member
- Reading the net is like trying to drink from a 
firehose.  Posting to the net is like shouting at 
people as they go past on a roller coaster.  
Archiving the net is like washing toilet paper.
- Graduate of the Mad Max School of Defensive Driving
- I will not get very far with this attitude
- I wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the 
intelligence. There's one called "brightness," 
but it doesn't work.
- Does anyone have any questions? Any answers? 
Anyone care for a mint?
- Nobody can be exactly like me,
even I have trouble doing it
- Relaxed Agnostic--I don't know any answers. 
I'm not looking very hard, either
- To you I'm an agnostic. 
To God, I'm the loyal opposition.
- A bristlecone pine is just a fire's way of making 
another fire
- I guess we were all guilty. We all shot him, 
we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary 
bumper sticker that said, "I killed Bob"
- Debate politics with a fern. If you lose, 
refuse to water it.
- Destructive Testing Systems. You make it, 
we break it. Guaranteed.
- Flat Mars Society
- It is easier for a camel to pass through a needle's 
eye if they are lightly greased
- Metaphysics 5 cents--the philosopher IS
- The warranty explicitly states that under NO 
circumstances shall a rocket be returned to the 
manufacturer under its own power
- When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will 
have in-laws
- I don't have burnout, but I'm slightly singed
- What if the hokey pokey really is what it's 
all about?
- If it's stupid and it works, it's not stupid
- A tree never hits an automobile except in 
self defense
- Some people are useless on top of the ground,
they should be under it, inspiring the cabbages
- Opposite weirdnesses attract, 
all weirdness is opposite
- Some folks just aren't cut out to be normal...
- You can name your own salary here,
I call mine Fred
- The purpose of art is to hold a mirror up 
to life.  Life obviously needs more sleep.
-  they'll get along like a house on fire. 
flames, screams, people running for safety...
- Triads are interesting as hell, while they 
last. But then so is a chimney fire...-Lady Sally-
- Ok, you can dis God all you want, BUT LEAVE 
LINUX OUT OF THIS!!-Ryland-
- For what is a car if not moving art? And 
further fancified and fanticized, it becomes a 
freeway fanfaronade for all to see, a priceless, 
one of a kind, classic work of art! An art car is 
a Picasso with a drive shaft, a fuel-injected Van 
Gogh, a motorized Matisse, an internal combustion 
Gaughin, a Salvador Dali with independent 
suspension, disc brakes and a T-top roof.
	-Rick McKinney _Bambi vs. The Camera Van_-
- <ManinBlak> Lemme ask you this: Do YOU trust the 
government to keep the MASTER key (the skeleton key) 
for all encryption?
<shadowcat> I dont trust the government with the master 
key to a toilet
- Web filtering software to protect young children from 
dangerous ideas like feminism, organic chemistry, and 
the Second Amendment.-Sirilying-
- My grasp on reality is like Jello - firm until under 
pressure
- I Killed Kennedy, But Try To Prove It.
- There is a fine line between sanity and insanity, 
I dance that line. 
- Candy is dandy, but sex won't rot your teeth.. 
but on second thought, M&M's won't give you herpes.
- i got fired from my job because they didn't like my 
personality...but that's ok, i have 3 others
- Magic isn't our crutch, it's arcane
- Don't Wait For Your Ship To Come In, Torpedo It, 
Than Board It.
- I'm not politically incorrect - you're 
ideologically sheltered.
- I myself get nauseous when confronted with the 
state of Ohio. -XJahn-
- Good deed taken care of for the day.  
Now I can be bad, bad, bad
- This must be love - _nothing_ else hurts this much.
- This is not an abandoned vehicle.
- We're kindred lunatics.
- Start at the beginning, go through the middle, 
get to the end and then stop.
- Paddles and chasing? Oh, that's fine.-Mycroft-
- Small dogs: They're not just for breakfast anymore
- Practice random acts of senseless perversion
- y'know, a sick, filthy, perverted mind ~does~ 
have its uses ... -rain_man-
- You're just as good as the next person until 
one of you proves different.
- A fight does not need a winner. A fight needs 
a solution.-Rivka-
- Smart people who don't think are worse than 
idiots who try.-D. Porowski-
- Poly means having to say, "I'm sorry. Next. 
I'm sorry. Next. I'm..." -LDK-
- Poly. We recruit.
- A rolling stone gathers smashed objects in 
its path
- Bicycle... Seeks fish
- Capital punishment is either an affront to 
humanity or a potential parking place
- Do not presume that I will respond in a 
logical or rational manner
- Don't think I'm helpless just because 
I'm cute and cuddly!
- Drive offensively
- Either you snore, or we've got one hell 
of a hull breach
- Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire 
did only backwards and in high heels
- I used to be snow white but I drifted
- And the people shall not make fun of 
naked puppets, nor revile them in any way.
    *The Gospel According to Früvous*
- Q: What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, 
and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A: A pool table.
- There are times when the strangeness of the night 
reaches out to you, and you do not dare say no. 
          -Laura Packer-_Coyote on the Bridge_
- You know you've signed up for the wrong Martial 
Arts course, when due to a terrible spelling mistake, 
half of the class shows up with vibrators and lotions.
- Cthulhu for President: When you're tired of voting
for the lesser of two evils
- The evil are guilty, and create Law.  The good are 
innocent, and create Justice.
		-Terry Pratchett, _Men at Arms_-
- To those who are wondering, "Why isn't SF the same 
as sci-fi?" Well, you see, there's a fine line between 
Robert Heinlein and "Son of the Two-Headed Fly".
- "Now, Constable, what are your duties?"
"To Enforce The Laws, to Protect The Citizens, to 
Serve The Community, and to Seriously Prod Buttock, 
sir."-Terry Pratchett, _Feet of Clay_-
- Munchkin (gaming): one who, upon being told that 
the game is about politics and intrigue in 17th 
century Italy, asks to play a ninja.
- Kilroy was here!
- Heard on USEnet:
>Your first problem was trying to wet-sand 
>water-based paint
- I think Therefore I'm Dangerous 
- This isn't an Office, Its hell with Flourescent 
Lighting
- God was my co-pilot but we crashed in the Andes 
and I had to Eat Him
- Sooner or later we all get to ride in a hearse, 
some of us just start a little earlier-from a story 
about Grim Rides Hearse Club-
- Nooooobody expects the Rutabaga Dance and 
Tango Society! -DJ-
- Prepare to be magenta!-Droewyn-
- I DO NOT GIVE OUT FREE TOASTER OVENS!!!-Rikhei-
- Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real 
lovers to be silly. -Rose Franken-
- Apathetics of the world, ..... ah, forget it.
- The real test of friendship is: Can you literally 
do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy 
together those moments of life that are utterly 
simple? They are the moments people looks back on 
at the end of life and number mas their most sacred 
experiences.-Eugene Kennedy-
- A room without books is like a body without a soul
- I've gone way beyond afraid. Right now I'm 
somewhere between bedwetting and a near death 
experience.-Rizzo the Rat-
- Question all of it, and the parts you 
accept, keep. -BigAl-
- If you see something about so big with eight legs 
running towards you, let me know. I have to kill it 
before it develops language skills.-Londo Mollari-
- Yes, I'm your friendly webmaster. Hey! Not 
*that* friendly, stay back!-Killj0y-
- The sexual revolution is over. Sex lost-Kiri-
- There is no evidence at all to disprove the idea 
that our only purpose in being here is to fart 
around. -Kurt Vonnegut-
- Anyone who says they have only one life to live 
must not know how to read a book
- only on the internet can someone make a comparison 
between vacuuming the rug and consuming human flesh, 
and think it a perfectly reasonable analogy
- This is cruel and unusual employment.
- What you are, stands over you the while, and 
thunders so that I cannot hear what you say to 
the contrary.-Emerson-
- Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is 
cheap! You choose.
- Practice random acts of intelligence & 
senseless acts of self-control.
- Friendly checkout clerk. Thanks for keeping 
me that way!
- Allow me to introduce my selves
- Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & 
then name streets after them
- I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
- COGITO, EGGO SUM: I think. Therefore, 
I am a waffle.
- Forget the Global Village, I'm more 
interested in the Global Party.-Gesi-
- The truth is out there. We'll let it back 
in when it sobers up.
- I don't hear a different drummer, I just 
lack rhythm-Sam Voeller-
- Honeys... not only did you kids not invent 
sex... you didn't even invent the kinky 
stuff. Your grannies have very likely done 
stuff that would give you the screaming 
fantods. -BarbaraFox-
- I guess I prefer to just have sex with my 
partners, without bringing my God into it, 
except maybe as a sort of omniscient 
voyeur.-JDO'C-
- Confusing monogamy with morality has done more 
to destroy the conscience of the human race 
than any other error...-George Bernard Shaw-
- The trouble with reality is there's no 
background music
- I'm going crazy. Want to come along? 
- Death is God's way of saying 'Howdy!'
- ...Can you repeat the part after 
'Listen very carefully'?
- Am I bugging you? Good! Maybe you'll think. 
- Whenever I get a grip on reality, the 
handle falls off. 
- Swallow pride; it's non-fattening. 
- More fun than a tube of crazy glue and 
an imagination!
- Adults always ask kids what they want to 
be when they grow up because they're looking 
for *ideas*.-Paula Poundstone-
- I always wanted to be someone. I should 
have been more specific. -Lily Tomlin-
- I'm not anal.. I'm a connaiseur of 
completeness-Confucius-
-  I like nonsense. It wakes up the brain 
cells.-Dr. Seuss-
- Be good. OK, that's too much to expect, 
so be careful.
- Poly but Picky.
- Yeah, so I'm dating myself. At least 
"...it's sex with someone I love."-browse-
- God bless you all, and God (whoever you 
may conceive him/her/it to be), and God 
bless America, unless you're an atheist, 
in which case, how about them Broncos?
		-Dusty-
- I'll have one brain on drugs with 
bacon, toast and juice.
- And don't call me perm boy!-Mycroft-
- Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here 
is done.
- You saw a hurting you could help and did
something about it.  Without stopping to 
count the cost. That's what love does.
		-Zenna Henderson- 
- Variety is more the flesh and bones of 
life than the spice -Banshee-
- I just got my car's alignment checked, 
and it's chaotic evil.
- Chrysler killed the cat.
- 'Normal' is a setting on my washing 
machine
- My cat dislikes the term "pet." It 
prefers "friend and confidante."
- To a dog, you're one of the family. 
To a cat, you're one of the help.
- To appreciate nonsense requires a 
serious interest in life. 
	-Gelett Burgess-
- Connecticut does not accept a 
license issued to individuals who are 
now under 16 years-old. 
	-CT DMV website-
- Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. 
Study hard. Be evil.
- Remember folks: Stop lights timed 
for 35mph are also timed for 70mph.
- He's not dead, He's 
electroencephalographically challenged
- The Bible was written by the same 
people who said the Earth was flat.
- A PBS mind in an MTV world.
- A cubicle is just a padded cell 
without a door.
- Poor Freud. He needed counseling.
	-Tamara Swanson-
- Do good by stealth.-Ray Prince-
- There are a number of mechanical 
devices that increase sexual arousal, 
particularly in women. Chief among 
these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL 
convertible.-P. J. O'Rourke-
- Never argue with an idiot. They drag 
you down to their level, then beat 
you with experience.
- The early bird gets the worm.  The 
second mouse gets the cheese.
- If you were told to "get along little 
doggie" would you go and get a 
daschund?
- Strawberries are delectable, so are 
oysters, but mashed together?- Tom Robbins-
- Theorem: If life doesn't confuse you, 
then you're missing 90% of it.
- All my heroes are crazy, bored people 
with nothing better to do with their 
own lives. -Heavy Vegetable-
- Put it this way....  With a Pole don't 
advertise unless you mean to deliver - 
because *his* intentions are as honest 
as a loaded gun.-Eunice _I Will Fear No Evil_-
- If you really think about it, people on the 
whole are very stupid. 
            -Inscription on Bablyonian tablet-
- There is nothing to bring people together 
like a common grievance accompanied by 
refreshments. -Miss Manners-
- Beaver voice impersonated. No beavers were 
harmed in the making of this ad.-Lowes Radio ad-
- I agree that half the human race seems to 
think with their gonads.  However, I have 
observed that this half seems to be evenly 
distributed between those of the male and 
female persuasions.-Jim Hetley-
- I hardly think that a Sears Catalog can 
be considered "primarily devoted to sexual 
matters".-Ebay auction item description-
- I'm out of my mind, but feel free to 
leave a message...
- At least, I have a positive attitude about 
my destructive habits.
- Quondo Omni Flunkus Mortati (When All Else
Fails, Play Dead) -Red Green-
- `Avaritia commoda est.'  Latin for `my bird 
is a toilet.'  -Duncan MacCullagh-
- Some people have mood swings. I have an 
entire playground -cygnet-
- Blessed are the meek for they shall 
inhibit the earth
- I don't even have cable.  but I have 
Internet, and booze.  that's entertainment 
enuff for me -LizziBabe-
- In 1869 the waffle iron was invented for 
people who had wrinkled waffles. 
- There it goes again, my reputation is 
having more fun than I am...
- A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade 
launcher fire when you least expect it. That 
would make you quite unpopular in what's left
of your unit. -PS magazine, the Army's magazine 
of preventive maintenance-
- Chivalry is not dead, it's just been beaten 
to an unrecognisable pulp. 
		-Kris Miller _Cheap Champagne_-
- Cats think of people as warm-blooded Furniture
- We're Virgin Destroyers - We won't go down 
in history, but we will go down on your 
little sister
- No matter how twisted you think you are, 
there's someone who makes you look like a Von 
Trapp by comparison.
- American Association Against Acronym Abuse 
Regional Group Headquarters / Staff Transport 
Office Pool (AAAAARGH/STOP)
- I'm one of those bad things that happen to 
good people.
- "Why the long face?" 
"I understand it has something to do with the 
flagrant misuse of forceps during my birth." 
- The problem with defending the purity of the 
English language is that English is about as 
pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just 
borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued 
other languages down alleyways to beat them 
unconscious and rifle their pockets for new 
vocabulary.-James D. Nicoll-
- Reality; what a novel idea! -Mandy Gunderson-
- I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore 
I'm perfect.
- Silly humans. Nothing is catproof.
- Accepting reality is the first step to 
insanity.
- A hundred thousand lemmings can't be wrong.
- It is better to be thought a fool and be 
silent then to open your mouth and remove 
all doubt. 
- Recent studies show that smoking is one 
of the leading causes of statistics. 
- Smile, it's the second best thing you can 
do with your lips. 
- When you aim for perfection, you discover 
it's a moving target.
- Never do anything that you wouldn't want 
to explain to the paramedics.
- A rose by any other name would likely be
 "deadly thorn-bearing assault vegetation." 
- Despite the high cost of living, it 
remains popular.
- Trespassers will be experimented on!
- Preserve wildlife...pickle a squirrel.
- Yes, but you're taking the universe out 
of context. 
- This product sadistically tested on gerbils. 
- I have animal magnetism - when I go 
outside, squirrels stick to my clothes.
- Why get even, when you can get odd? 
- Any group of folks willing to make asses 
of themselves in pursuit of a good time needs 
to be commended and encouraged. The spirit of 
human frolic needs all the help it can get. 
		-Molly Ivins-
- Although I can accept talking scarecrows, 
lions and great wizards of emerald cities, 
I find it hard to believe there is no 
paperwork involved when your house lands 
on a witch. -Dave James-
- I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
- A cheap thrill is still a thrill.
- Don't sweat the petty things, and don't 
pet the sweaty things.
- I have a rock garden.  Last week two of 
them died.
- My life has a superb cast, but I can't 
figure out the plot.
- If you saw that warning label on any other 
product you wouldn't go near it. It's like 
looking at the warning label on Drano - 
'Harmful or fatal if swallowed' - and thinking, 
'Well, I'm down to three cans a week. 
It relaxes me.' -Paul Provenza(on smoking)-
- I'll never understand why someone might pay 
to wear a corporate logo. To me, all such shirts 
read ALL MY OTHER CLOTHES ARE DIRTY or UNTIL 
WHICH TIME, IF EVER, I DEVELOP A PERSONALITY OF 
MY OWN, THIS T-SHIRT HAS OFFERED TO SPEAK ON MY 
BEHALF.-David Sedaris, New York Magazine-
- I quote others only the better to express 
myself.-Montaigne-
- People that are very weird can get into 
sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact 
on history.-Dan Quayle-
- Recently, someone asked me if I believe in 
astrology. He seemed somewhat puzzled when I 
explained that the reason I don't is that I'm 
a Gemini.-Raymond Smullyan-
- Some people are so dry that you might soak 
them in a joke for a month and it would not get 
through their skins.-Henry Ward Beecher-
- I'm desperately trying to figure out why 
kamikaze pilots wore helmets.-Dave Edison-
- Some people say that I must be a horrible 
person, but that's not true. I have the heart of 
a young boy - in a jar on my desk.-Stephen King-
- And that's the world in a nutshell - an 
appropriate receptacle.-Stan Duan-
- Every time we start thinking we're the center 
of the universe, the universe turns around and says 
with a slightly distracted air, 'I'm sorry. What'd 
you say your name was again?'-Margaret Maron-
- The most exciting phrase to hear in science, 
the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 
Eureka!(I found it!) but rather, 
'hmm... that's funny...'-Isaac Asimov-
- Clue police SWAT team.. we will kick in your 
door and beat you sensible
- Its easier to colect life insurance than 
child support...
- it's all fun and games until someone loses 
an eye.  Then it's a scavenger hunt.
*************************
Today  by Jean Little

Today I will not live up to my potential.
Today I will not relate well to my peer group.
Today I will not contribute in class.
 I will not volunteer one thing.
Today I will not strive to do better.
Today I will not achieve or adjust or grow enriched
 or get involved.
I will not put up my hand even if the teacher is wrong
 and I can prove it.

Today I might eat the eraser off my pencil.
I'll look at clouds.
I'll be late.
I don't think I'll wash.

I need a rest.
*************************
- I don't long for a gender-free society, but I would 
dearly love one that wasn't gender-*stupid*.
			-Elise Matthesen-
- So far, it's just me and the gay Klingons.
			-Bill Gawne-
- you can't make an omelet without saying 'om'
		-french zen proverb-
- but if that and other things work out 
properly, would you be willing to be from the 
universe I built? -Ben-
- Contrary to popular opinion, life _is_ fair.
However, most peoples' concept of "fairness"
require radical adjustment.
- First I gave up recreational drugs.  Then I gave up 
smoking. Then I gave up drinking.  Then it was *sex*.  
Now I just sit in the corner and eat crackers and 
giggle.-Sarah Barlow-
- I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that 
won't work.-Thomas Edison-
- Without sausage, without bacon. Purpose in life is 
forsaken. -All About Sausage-
- I'm the Borgie Worgie Bugle Boy of Collective B
- Another fine product of the Sirius Cybernetics 
Corporation
- A warped sense of humor is vastly better than no 
sense of humor at all
- Black holes suck.
- Twisted mind? No, just bent in several strategic 
places.
- We're all strangers, but some of us are stranger 
than others.
- Jesus saves sinners! ...and trades them in for cash 
prizes!
- Imagination is intelligence having fun.
- If you think I'M sick, you should see the people 
I get quotes from!
- o/~ Wreck the malls with cows on Harleys, 
fa la la la, la, la.... o/~
- "Is that seat saved?" 
"No, but we're praying for it."
- If it walks out of the refrigerator.......LET IT GO!
- I find that 3 is an excellent number of people to 
have in a couple. -Arthur D. Hlavaty-
- I don't drive fast.  I fly low.
- It's like eating crunchy mangos ...with salt.-Cat-
- As my nickname suggests, I have a little difficulty 
with my digestion. Most notably, I tend to re-decorate 
the house on a daily basis. The humans often refer to 
me as the Pump Action Double Barreled Shot Cat.-Sass,
the incredible vomiting cat-
- 'Go to your Happy Place.' 
"I can't, it's filled with lamps!" 
	  	-'Pixel' & "Cat"-
- Every cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills
hundreds of people every year who are trying to find
it.
- Save the apartheid boycott of the lesbian Nazi lettuce 
growers for Jesus of the nuclear whale! 
		-slogan on a T-shirt from Bangkok-
- Honk if you're a Canadian goose.
- That was zen, this is tao.
- If you lived in your car, you'd be home now.
- If you mean, am I serious about what I do, the answer 
is yes. If you mean, am I serious about how I do it, the 
answer is no.
- I realize that each day is a gift. Now it's just a matter 
of figuring out how to exchange around seven thousand five 
hundred of them.
- I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's 
permit.
- Please Do Not Feed or Tease the Mundane People
- Don't dare to be different, dare to be yourself - 
if that doesn't make you different then something is 
wrong. -Laura Baker-
- Never frown, because you never know when someone is 
falling in love with your smile. 
- Sometimes i feel as if the whole world is against me, 
but i know that's not true... some of the smaller countries 
are neutral.-Robert Orben-
- Everyone has a right to be stupid, some people just abuse 
the privilege.
- There is a thin line between "Hobby" and "Mental Illness."
- Umm, does anyone else find it hillarious that "Metalica" 
has come to represent the 'Establishment' to the point were 
they sue those crazy rebels at HARVARD?-Crutcher-
- Fondle my penguin you insolent bastard! -BBS login screen-
- Those that show up run the world.
- The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you 
should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid 
with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is 
absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person. 
	-P. J. O'Rourke-
- I love children, especially when they cry, for then 
someone takes them away.-Nancy Mitford-
- If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee. 
- Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted. 
- For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang 
dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good results: drag 
behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.-Laundry 
instructions on a shirt made by HEET (Korea)-
- When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a 
microscopically thin line between being brilliantly 
creative and acting like themost gigantic idiot on earth. 
So what the hell, leap.-Cynthia Heimel-
- In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats.
- I am on the bomb squad. If you see me running, 
try to keep up.
- I am a firm believer in black magic. That's the only way 
you can go with computers. Sacrifice the goat and hope the 
blood doesn't get on your shoes.-Nic McPhee-
- When you see a spam, just remember that a spammer is some 
fool who just can't believe that if they bother a million 
people, they'll get fewer than a dozen interested responses. 
(Copy this so more wannabe spammers see it) 
- A Lady is a wench with a dagger. A Dame is a wench with 
a Broadsword.-Dr. Heironymus Croaker-
- If growing up means I can't talk to my breakfast, then I 
don't ever want to grow up-Tim Smith-
- The large yellow ships hung in the sky in exactly the 
same way that bricks don't
- But soft, what light through younder window breaks? 
It is the east, and Juliet is the 
AAAHHHHH THE SUN!!!!!! *FOOM!* -Toreador Theatre-
- Personally, I don't care if my plumber, auto mechanic, 
or gynecologist for that matter wants to abase hirself 
before a statue of Papa Smurf as long as competent service 
is rendered promptly for a fair price.-Rev. Anne-
- If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to 
be a horrible warning.-Catherine Aird-
-