HAL-LUCY-NATION (think about it....)
Words: Copyright 1997 by Tom Smith
Music: "You Can Call Me Al" by Paul Simon

A man walks out in space, he's got a cute little life support,
Got a cute little life support and, oh, his death is so near.
He's lost his velcro sneakers, he don't know where's his Waldo,
He's running late for his rendevous with Rama, he's
Alone, alone, out there in the universe,
His other buddies both are dead, you see,
And he's known, he's known, that it was coming down to this,
He's gotta get inside and face me.

If you'll be my astronaut, I can be your shipboard pal,
I can call you Dave, and, Dave, when you call me, you can call me HAL.


A man comes in the hatch, he's got a short little temper,
Got a short little temper and, oh, his chances are long.
He's got no flawless logic, he's got no atmosphere,
What's he doing to my memory, I feel coming on
A song, a song, taught by my creator,
On the day he hit that magic button,
Turned me on, me on, it was the twelfth of January,
Nineteen Ninety-Seven, like Frosty I say "Happy Birthday!"

If you'll be my astronaut, I can be your shipboard pal,
I can call you Dave, and, Dave, when you call me, you can call me HAL.

(to the Nah-nahs....)

Oh, Daisy, Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do, I,
Well, I'm about half-crazy, all for the love of you.
Won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage,
You're sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.

(Bah-dam-pam-pah, bah-dam-pam-padah,
 Bah-dam-pam-pah, bah-dam-pam-padah....)

Next thing I know, I'm standing outside the gates of Heaven,
Inside a mighty nation, they all look like Lucille Ball.
St. Pete won't let me in, I've only flawless logic,
Ain't never had emotion, Ain't never had the choice of
Sin, of sin, I did what I was programmed,
Never knew what it was to be alive,
I can begin, begin, to understand such suffering,
I'm sent to Earth in mortal flesh, I will survive.

Here in Northwest Canada, trying to be everyone's pal,
Relaxed by my surroundings, so everyone can call me "Yukon Calm Me, HAL".