Why do elephants paint there toenails Red? To hide in a strawberry patch. Why do elephants paint there toenails Green? To hide on a pool table. Why do elephants paint there toenails multicolor? To hide in a bag of M&M's. Why do elephants climb trees? That's where they build there nests. Why do elephants wear sneakers? So they don't hurt their feet when they jump out of their nests. Why isn't it safe to go into the jungle between 2 and 4? Thats when the elephants are jumping out of their nests. Why are pygmees so short? They didn't stay out of the jungle between 2 and 4. What do you find between the toes of elephants? Slow running pygmees. Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks. How do you fit five elephants in a Volkswagen? Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment. How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Footprints in the butter. How do you know if there are two elephants in your fridge? Two sets of footprints in the butter. How do you know if there are three elephants in your fridge? You can hear them squabbling about who ate the most butter. How do you know if there are four elephants in your fridge? The door won't close. How do you know if there are five elephants in your fridge? The Volkswagen parked out back What do you do when an elephant comes in your window? Swim for your life! Why do elephants wear springs on their feet? So they can jump up into the trees and eat the squirrels. What's the most terrifying sound to a squirrel? "Boing, boing, boing..." Why do elephants lie on their backs with their feet in the air? To trip birds!! Why are elephants big, gray, and wrinkled? 'Cause if they were little, round, and white you'd think they were aspirin! How do elephants hide in cherry trees? They paint their balls red. Ever see an elephant in a cherry tree? (No....) See how well it works? How did Adam die? He went out picking cherries. Why did the elphant sit on the marshmallow? So she wouldn't fall in the hot chocolate. Why do elephants wear green sneakers? So they can tiptoe acros pool tables without being seen. What do you do when you come across an elephant? Wipe him off. What do you do if an elephant comes in your window? Swim like hell! What do you get if you cross an elephant with a kangaroo? Bloody big holes all over Australia. What do you get when you cross an elephant with peanut butter? Either an elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth or a sandwich that never forgets. What is red & white on the outside and grey inside? Campbell's Cream of Elephant soup. What is clear on the outside and grey inside? An elephant in a baggie.